The wall

Clubbing fish with flares in Brighton.

20th July 2011

Clubbing fish with flares in Brighton.

Brighton Marina

We have been in Brighton marina for far too long waiting to leave this green and pleasant land for countries new.

storms in Brighton

Storms in Brighton

Where to start? Well that is not difficult as for one reason or another we have been stuck in Brighton for the last two weeks and there are only so many times you can admire a plain, 50 ft. concrete wall you see every time you go into the cockpit. I could talk about its architectural blandness, the specific type of grey or even where every crack is. The only exciting thing around it is the water that has shot over the top on a regular basis aided by gusting winds. This means a daily ritual of washing the salt from the boat whilst still having to look at that monolith of a concrete wall. To add insult to injury Brighton Marina has got the worst case of flatulence I have ever seen. Honestly. Not the people but the marina itself. At low water there are strange bubbles gulping up all over.

Our life raft is back from service and my wallet is 449 pounds lighter. This would have kept us in wine and beer for at least one whole week. It looks as though I am going to have to resort to having milk on my cornflakes instead for breakfast!!


What to do with expired Flares

We are going to have to buy some more flares and a fire extinguisher to save getting fined whilst abroad. The boat is now a temple to expired distress flares as they seem to be everywhere. I am sure a few people saw the boat before we bought her and off loaded their used pyrotechnics. If we ever had a fire on board the new fire extinguisher would have no chance and everyone up to Lancashire would be diving under tables for cover. George Bush doesn’t know what “Shock and Awe” is but believe me we could show him. Drop our boat on Baghdad from a B52 and there would be no Baghdad left. I have tried everything to get rid of them but they are like a cockroach infestation. My mission today is to find a five-year old and give her free sparklers for bonfire night.

stir crazy in Brighton

Stir crazy in Brighton

I know Angelina is getting fed up of the cocktails I make her with the “special” sparklers in them. She even complained it was not her birthday when I went to the trouble of baking her cake with 46 “special” marine flare candles on it. I suppose I would be a bit miffed though as it took her three days to blow them out.

Well enough about our trials and tribulations because as you can see life has been really pretty dull just waiting to go. Did I mention the concrete wall, oh I did. I may paint a Chad on it before I got so others have something to look at.


Showers in marina’s

When living aboard a boat little things become important like the shower facilities at each place you visit. Brighton has one of those showers where you have to keep pushing a knob. As soon as you push it the damn thing pops out again and you get hit by a stream of cold or boiling water. I hate the showers that constantly have you running around as they change temperature or the ones that just dribble to tease you. People don’t understand but for a live aboard on a boat a shower can be the highlight of the day. The excitement of finding a new one, the anticipation of what it will be like when you turn it on, the dream of a power shower that can pin you against the wall and strip flesh from the bone. Then the ritual let down. It does all mean a lot to me but as Angelina says “You need to get out more”. Well I have tried getting out more but all I see is a concrete grey wall.


Angelina on Facebook

Angelina has jumped from the dark ages to modern-day and joined the face book revolution on her phone. She does complain a lot though that the fairies in there keep making her press the wrong buttons. It keeps her amused (and me listening to her continually saying, “Oh no, what happened” “where’s it gone” or “stupid thing”). It is strange how women talk to inanimate objects. Not like us men of course.


Stopped from filleting fish by friends

friends in Brighton

Friends and family in Brighton

We did learn from friends on another boat how to fillet Mackerel yesterday. Trouble is it is best done whilst the fish is dead apparently. I could not work out why mine was trying to get away. I have this thing about clubbing innocent animals to death. One thing I do know is that we have one less Mackerel on our plate and there is one fish still intact, trying to find its way past a huge grey concrete wall. Well good luck to him as we have not managed it yet. Slippery buggers those fishy things. Anyway, you can buy them in Asda, pre clubbed and pre packed.

We nearly did leave and had it all planned. Ten friends turned up with the devil’s own brew to say goodbye. This led to going to the pub and from there onto another boat for nightcaps of wife beater special (Stella). We missed our leaving time the following day and my brain was really giving my skull a good kicking.

We were told by another sailor of his wife hanging over the front of the boat doing the Titanic thing when a ferry passed leaving a huge wake behind it. He did try to warn her and shouted “Wave”. She did and then got totally drenched by it. Before you ask I don’t know what colour hair she had.

Well on that note I suppose I had better do a few boaty type things and plan our escape route. So hoist the sails. Splice the main brace, infinity and beyond, (well beyond that bloody wall at least).

Oh, I forgot to mention Brighton itself. The lanes are good if you like shopping and hordes of people, the restaurants are good and if it were not for other things we would have enjoyed our time in Brighton so much more.



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