If you did have guns on boats and managed to get them out what are the chances of hitting anything when you are bouncing around like kangaroos testicles.
The Strait of Messina traffic control told Cygnus to stay close to the shore. They must have been spitting their cappuccinos out with laughter watching us.
The harbour in Scilla is very shallow and there is no room amongst the numerous small fishing boats for anything bigger than a German’s sense of humour.
In S’Agata D.Militello no one noticed that I was wet through and sat in a pool of water. No doubt they are used to incontinent pensioner’s mystery tours.
Cefalu is another one of those places you just have to visit, even if you are dead. If you can’t afford to get there sell a kidney or two. It’s worth it.
A Castellammare del Golfo pizza is huge. You could tie someone across it between the artichokes, spin it slowly and throw knifes between the victims limbs.